It has been 271 days since our dossier was completed and ready for action in Ethiopia. And that is after the prior months of forms, fingerprints, interviews, home visits, background checks, references, and more forms.
We are now in the middle of the waiting game. And so, we wait. and wait. and wait. and wait.
I don’t understand it, but it seems that during this time period, many of my wonderful friends have become pregnant or have had great changes in their families. They share their joy with me, and I do my best to mirror it. Most of the time, I truly feel it. Some of the time, I admit I’m faking. It’s hard to be joyful with something that is so natural for some, but has been very avoidant for us.
I never realized that I wanted kids. I’ve never been one of those women who just had to be a mom. I’m not big into pain, stretch marks, poopy diapers and vomit. However, I have always known that I would like to adopt. Now, after ten years of infertilty and failed adoptions, I’m really hoping that this time will stick. If not… I suppose we’ll just accrue more pound puppies.
Meanwhile, as we wait for the call from Ethiopia, to occupy our time we’ve managed to make a few other connections of people in Alaska who have adopted, or are adopting, from Africa. We’re a small number, but quickly growing. Hopefully, we’ll be able to develop a good network for our children and our own support. Between picnics with Ethio food and celebrations of country holidays to creating a safe place to express issues with transracial adoption and general parenting, I think this group will quickly become a great source of strength.
During this dreadfully long adoption ‘pregnancy’ it has also been helpful to dive into projects. The more I’m able to consume our time with painting a room, or writing an article, or leaping to a cause, the more I find myself free from the constant hum in the back of my head, begging me to check voicemail.
But all of these tactics are just that – tactics. They are merely ways that I occupy my mind and survive this silent phase, while I wait. and wait. and wait. and wait. and wait.
2 responses so far ↓
girlatdesk // March 18, 2008 at 7:30 am
Oh, God bless you! I know, I know. It’s tough. I wish you all God’s peace and that your little ones come home to you soon!
Jaime // March 18, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I know that the waiting is hard. Been there, done that =) But you’re right, your wait has been sooo long, or so it seems. I’m really excited to see what awesome miracle or revelation- whatever it may be- that God works on your behalf. Maybe it will give all of us a little glimpse into the answer as to why we sometimes have to wait. and wait. and wait.
Love you, my dear friend. And praying for God’s best for you, too.
Jaime